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Man, am I pissed! My clothes aren't all that clean, normally, but even I stop short at sporting dried mud all over my shirt and pants. Anyway, there I was, lying face down in the mud when something shiny catches my eye. It looks like a brass pot or urn, and it's covered with all kinds of engraving. Shit, maybe the thing is worth something, so I pick it up.There I was, standing there covered with mud and holding my fishing pole in one hand and that stupid urn in the other. I looked down at my self and thought, "God damn, I wish this mud was somewhere else." The next thing I know, my clothes are spotlessly clean. "Shit, how did that happen?"A voice inside my head answered, "I was merely following your orders, Master."Man, you talk about something guaranteed to scare you shitless, that was it! Now, I may have shit for brains, but I do have a good memory, and the first thing that occurred to me was the story of Aladdin and his lamp. I asked, "Are you the genie from Aladdin's lamp?" I am,. "Because it was a polite question. Now seriuosly, are you back in Arizona?"With a hint of irritation, she scowled and, "Yes. Why?"God damn it! Are you going to tell me or do I have to beat it out of you?" (In retrospect, under these circumstances that really wasn't an effective threat.)She glared and stood her stubborn ground. "Why" was all the bitch would repeat over and over like an owl with a learning disability.I'm not one to triffle with, especially in this heat so I screamed yet again, "Okay, you fucking lunatic, I'll ask one final time ....where do you live?"She snarled like Jean-Paul Belmondo in "Breathless" before, "I keep telling you. ..I live in Why...Arizona. It's a real place. Look it up, Rand McNutty!" Oh," was my witty retort.That lengthy, circuitous discussion did remind me, for some reason, to cancel my afternoon appointments with Mr. Abbott and Mr. Costello. But now finally it was time to get down to bidness as the kids say. I slowly walked around her naked body,.
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