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" I said then looking down at her bare legs. I realized why she might be a little colder than everyone else. I decided to be a gentleman. I took off my sweatshirt and offered it to her. "Here, put this over your legs before you fucking freeze." "Thanks." She said taking it and laying it over her hyperactive legs. With two minutes before class was supposed to start the professor walked in and started passing out tests. Kelly and I silently wished each other luck and then bent our heads over the tests in front of us and began to try and do the impossible: Calculus. I was in my third attempt at answering the first question on the test when I noticed Kelly's legs were just getting out of control. One of her legs was hopping up and down so violently that she kept hitting the bottom of her desk, making the work that she was supposed to be showing look like it had been done during an earthquake. She tried to pay attention to her test and get her body under control. I saw her take deep. I stood up to get dressed again. Facing the wall, I turned to the right to give myself room to button up and tuck in. I turned too far to the right. My ever-searching eyes darting all over the room, they landed on the monitor. There was my baby, the one that lived inside me right now. There was my baby, exactly as it had looked two minutes before when the picture was taken. There was my baby, who in two more minutes or maybe two hours from now would be cut and sucked out of me. By my choice. If I were the fainting kind, that would have done it. I will never, ever forget that image. My tiny, curled-up, potato-headed baby- he was real. Too early to determine sex (and they probably wouldn’t have told me anyway), I was sure it was a boy. I named him Julian, and for the rest of the time I was there I talked to him and apologized and tried to explain. I told him I felt it was fortunate that I believe in reincarnation, because that meant he’d get another chance to go to someone who could.
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