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I had never felt so powerless in my life. What the fuck had I done to deserve this? What had she done? What had her brother done? I had no answers. As I tried to move on with my life I realized I could not focus on the real world anymore. What had been there for me was not there anymore. After the accident, I had somehow lost my ability to socialize. I couldn’t talk to people. I couldn’t be around people. And I thought I had escaped the accident whole. How arrogant of me. I thought about suicide, but realized I couldn’t do that to myself. No matter how depressed I was, I was too afraid of God. So one day I came across an ad in a magazine about the Army, and I realized what I had to do. This was what was waiting for me. This was my solution to peace. This could make me better again. So here I was, six weeks into my service in Iraq, tied up in some grungy building with a bunch of other people. I seemed to be the only soldier. There were a few business types, and a woman in a pair of. One I had to keep it a secret. OK! Two was I had to keep my grade point level to 3.5 or higher. OK! On a typical school-day I would come home mama and dad would get home from work. Mama would cook dinner, and while dinner was cooking we would all three sit at the kitchen table, and talk about the day’s events, or we would talk about last weekend's party, or how much we were looking forward to the upcoming next weekend's party! A lot of times the conversations would make us so hot, that mama would have to interrupt cooking while we all adjourned to the bedroom for the night's MFM action. (I am and have always been straight, so was dad) That leads me to talk about Mama who was such the lady! She didn't smoke or drink or even cuss! She had never had any k**s, and was blessed with a body unlike any I've seen. She was so lady-like and she aged so gracefully she stayed hot even in her late 60's. I joined the military and whenever I could get leave or a long weekend, I HURRIED home. While.
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