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Could I?It’s not that I didn’t try and get a normal job to get me through uni. When I first arrived in London I got a job at as a waitress in a high-end Indian restaurant, where I worked for a month. But I spent more time turning down dates from my colleagues than I did waiting tables. That’s when I realised that I attract South Asians like a Dog would attracts fleas. It was not just the restaurant, it was uni. They chase me all over the campus. I’m not kidding, after lecture there will be a queue, ten deep, offering me proposals and questions. What are you? Where are you from? Please meet my parents. Will you marry me..? Fuck sake, it’s endless. They’re obsessed with me. They treat me like some kind of deity, so I started calling them pilgrims.The problem is, technically I’m one of them. I’m mixed race, half Bahraini, yes I’m as hot as the desert and half English – hence the foul mouth. I dress in Western clothes and possess a liberal attitude. The whole package drives my South. Wendy and Alicia paid her no attention and carried on with the conversation. ‘Me too,’ Alicia agreed. ‘And it’s mostly going on my chest. These new bras I got were big on me in the shop on Monday, but I tried one on today and I’m definitely filling it better. Good news for you, James,’ she concluded, thrusting her chest toward me. Florence’s eyes widened in horror, but she could have been invisible for all the notice Wendy and Alicia took of her. It was remarkable, and not a little scary, how quickly they had got used to the idea that she was some kind of inferior being they could ignore without compunction. ‘And did you see Kylie?’ Wendy asked. ‘She’s piling on weight like there’s no tomorrow. Betty told me when she goes to the takeaway she gets a meal that’s meant for three people and demolishes the lot by herself. I asked her about it yesterday and she said it was ‘brill’ because James likes it. And you do, don’t you darling?’ she added. ‘I saw how you looked at her. Do you want.
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