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Saturday, May 13, 1978I worked like normal. The weather was great so I was biking, making some deliveries, and making some pickups. Andreas told me that over the Summer he’d have some new things for me to do. I thanked him again and said I would do whatever they needed.I knew at some point I’d be asked to do something overtly questionable if not outright illegal. I still wasn’t sure what I would do, but I was leaning towards doing it. Part for the thrills, part for the money that would clearly come with it. I was still a minor so I knew I couldn’t get in any real trouble.No Jennifer for lunch. I had pretty much given up on that. It hurt. She still wasn’t talking to me beyond the minimal cordial conversations at lunch. I hung on to every word she said for dear life. But I got no sign of a thaw any time soon.I biked home, quickly showered, and changed into nice jeans and a button-down shirt. Bethany had told me jeans were fine. I grabbed my windbreaker in case it cooled off before I had. "He felt nothing," Denae supplied. "There was no longing, no lust, no love. He was simply looking, like we do sometimes at the merchant's shops. We walk past and gaze at things even though we have no intention of buying them. Then I began to consider what Jorgarn feels when he thinks of me. That is not nothing, I can assure you. He feels protective, of course. But he also feels other things, warmer things. If I am with him when I sense a new emotion, I can usually tell what it is. For instance, the other morning, the first morning we shared a bed, I took off my clothes in front of him." I know, you told me," Rayna said flatly."But what I didn't tell you was the sense of awe that swept over Jorgarn," Denae said. "He found me attractive. He longed to touch to me. He found me beautiful." You are beautiful," Rayna pointed out."Not to everyone," Denae assured her. "Jorgarn finds some women that I view as beautiful as something less than that. Other women, Lorida for instance, who I find.
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