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All of them. The strong ties and the delicate ones. It made the blood flow. The sweet and pulsing blood of the heart.Mine mostly, I guess.I don't know about her. Did she bleed? I can't say. I really don't know a lot about her anymore. Maybe I never did. But I know I shall end up a walking ghost, an anemic skeleton.I'll bleed to the last pint.I guess the first thing to do is to stop this self-pity. But I can't. Not yet.I am entitled to some self-pity, am I not? For God's sake, it has been an hour now. Leave me some slack, will you? Please, for a minute hold back your damned advice on how a real man should act. Fuck you. I don't even believe you have a wife yourself. So stuff your easy shit talk.I should hate her, you say.But what shabby hate is that? What's the value of it? You don't even know what love is. Be honest. Do you really? I don't think so. I loved her, man. I still love her, dammit. And now look! Watch how my heart twitches in my hands. It is bleeding to death.Look!Ah yes.. Joe also lives just down the street fromme, but I never wanted to pall around with him becausehe's one of the guys who liked to tease me. I felt pretty good after the meeting. Mr. Carlson treated me really special and I enjoyed showing someof my dance moves to the guys. They were all veryinterested in learning how ballet helped me develop myglutes. Each of the boys wanted to feel how firm theywere, so I let them take turns feeling my glutes. Apparently they were very impressed because most ofthe guys wanted to feel them twice. They also asked meto show them how I stretch and how flexible I was.They especially liked it when I got down on my backand put my legs behind my head. It was great being oneof the guys! Mr. Carlson offered to drive me home that night. Itwas a little chilly out, so on the way to the car heput his jacket around me to keep me warm. He even puthis arm around me because it was getting dark outsideand he thought I might get scared. I told him that Iwas fourteen years.
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