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A companion.’ I started pacing back and forth. ‘You know everything about me. We’re comfortable with each other like a pair of old shoes.’ I sighed. ‘I need more. I need it all. I need to be swept off my feet! I need to be romanced and I’ve never had that! I want to be desired and fawned over . . I want to be told I’m beautiful.’ I stopped pacing and tried not to cry. ‘I want to be loved so badly it hurts. It hurts a lot. But I can’t let myself believe that just because you’re having some kind of mid- life crisis or worse. . . feeling lonely, suddenly you love me.’ I was starting to get angry now. ‘I’m just supposed to fall into your arms in gratitude because you finally feel something and take pity on the fat girl!’ ‘Stop it!’ It was his turn to be angry. ‘I don’t feel sorry or pity. And I don’t expect you to just fall into my arms.’ He came up to me to look me in the eyes. ‘I’ve been an idiot.’ He raised my chin to make me look into his eyes. ‘I have always loved you.’ ****** I was. Well we lived in the ground floor apartment at the time and my husband had just come in from the field when this happened.I was one of the younger women in the building and was in very good shape. When my husband got home he and some of his other NCO buddies stopped at the Rod and Gun Club for some drinks and by the time he got home, he was pretty high. My kids were visiting with my mother in Korn-Westhiem and we were alone. He started to play around with me.He then said, "Let's go to the room upstairs and look at the stars."When we got to the upstairs room he started to play around some more and got me to take off my dress, then my bra and panties. Then he said he was going to push an old mattress from the storage area out and we could have sex on it.I said, "No, someone might come up and catch us."He tried to talk me into it, but I would not agree to having sex up there. Finally he grabbed up all my clothes and began walking away.He turned and said, "Think about it, I will be.
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