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Did she die or something?” I asked Stacey as we ate the chili.“Yes, as a matter of fact, she had lung cancer toward the end of her days and was too far gone by then for any kind of treatment plan to put it into remission. Stage IV. She was always a heavy chain smoker, as you know. Daddy/Uncle Troy regularly visited her grave shortly after that, just to piss on her headstone. No joke! He was still very pissed at her for that. I’ll always believe that he regretted not making them his playthings. I certainly wish that he had. Life would have been a lot easier for each of us.“I know that your mother, my Aunt Kelly, wasn’t the best of mothers, and that Aunt Wendy abused you in many ways once you moved in with her. Is it true that she had you circumcised just to reduce the pleasure of sex and masturbation for you? Circumcised at fifteen, when you could still remember the pain!” Stacey finally dared to ask me a question that had haunted her for some time now.“Well, yes, that’s why I’m. These two are compliments of LeaShortly after take-off on an outbound evening flight from Dublin to Boston, the lead flight attendant nervously made the following painful announcement in her lovely Irish brogue:"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry, but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up by our catering service. I don't know how this has happened, but we have 103 passengers on board, and unfortunately, we received only 40 dinner meals. I truly apologize for this mistake and inconvenience."When the muttering of the passengers had died down, she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."Her next announcement came about 2 hours later:"If anyone is hungry, we still have 40 dinners available."The Marine PilotThe teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids.
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