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.." Istumbled over the word. I think the word you're searching for is vagina"Jill quietly prompted me."Yes, yes I know I want one so badly, but when I think about getting one- I just don't know," I wailed.Jill looked at me and quietly said, "Don't take this the wrong way, butare you sure Susanna's for you?"At first I was shocked then angry, fiercely I answered, "YES Susanna'sperfect for me, this is what I've always wanted, always known this iswhat I should be; if my head would let me I'd have the surgery tomorrow,it's just..........." I tailed off and dissolved into floods of tears, Iwas so confused.This time three of them were around me holding and comforting me, I heardJill say quietly, "I'm sorry Susanna but I had to ask, the question nowis to find out why you're so resistant to having surgery!"The Jill went off on a totally different track. "How's your relationshipwith men?" Shonali broke in here saying, "Susanna and my brother are onehot item!" We're not," I protested feebly.. Well into the evening, I'd showered and shaved all over. I put on a pair of very short white shorts and a tight fitting tank top; mixed a drink and strolled down to the pool area. I just sat down in a lounge chair and was enjoying the warm evening. I was the only one out there at first, but after a little while I heard voices nearby. I looked up, just above me there were two men on their 2nd floor balcony talking and having cocktails. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. I started to focus in on their conversation. It occurred to me that they were discussing my body; my long legs and shoulder length hair. They were actually talking about what a pretty sissy I was. That made me feel really good. I got up and went to a nearby ice machine and refilled my glass and was walking back to where I'd been sitting, perhaps swishing a bit with my walk since I knew i was being admired. Before I sat back down they called down to me, asking if I'd like to come up and join them. I couldn't.
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