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"You really need more clothes, Honey, if you're gonna step out as a woman..." So..." Lois blinked."You pass," Marlene told her. "You're a girl. We just won't make it public." Yeah, good plan," Lois giggled, embarrassed. The giggle got a series of glances among the other girls -- then they burst out, too.Ed came to practice Thursday night -- the late one. The gym wasn't closed; Coach couldn't really do that. Generally, it didn't matter... Lois nearly fell when her eye lit on Ed, sitting up high in the stands. "Omigawd!"The girls all stopped -- and clustered. Coach came in, too. "What's up?" That's Ed -- Ed Powers. He's my best friend," Lois whispered. "He's here looking for Lou..." Oh," Coach mulled this. "How bad is it, do you think?" Either he's wondering why I'm not here, or he knows, by now," Lois whispered. "God..." Her hair was up in a ponytail -- maybe that was enough, but... She was made up, too, gently -- just lip-gloss, eyeliner, and a little foundation -- nothing fancy.. You'll get through it too." She was far more worried about me than I was, so I kissed her to let he know I was listening and we went home.Benjamin met me at the door, as he always does when I arrive home, and seemed to know I was upset. He looked around for someone to growl at, but seeing no one, opted to stick by me all evening. Colleen filled Rebecca in on our news, and she crawled into my lap to sympathize with me.What I was feeling is hard to explain. Part of me was thrilled that the person who had my mother killed and ordered my death was experiencing the full nature of judgment. It worried me that I was so willing to embrace violence as the answer to my tragedies.Rebecca sensed my confusion and said, "What they did to you was horrible. It's Ok to want them dead. Don't torture yourself for being glad he's gone. That man, whoever he was, earned what he got, and if everyone knew how evil he was, there would be a lot more people thrilled that he doesn't exist anymore."Baby, you.
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