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When she's Fiona, her hair will be reddish, when she's Jen, her hair will be blond. You think that'll work?" I don't know, Ant. It might be overkill, you know what I mean? I think the audience will get it without having us beat them over the head with it. Maybe just a change in voice tone would do it. I'll coach her on that."She was right, now that I thought of it. Having Charlotte dye her hair for all the scenes where she was the aggressive slut character was perhaps a little too blunt."The last thing we want to do is imply that the audience is stupid. It'll be way more powerful if they suddenly 'get it' on their own." Right!" I said slowly, suddenly getting it on my own."And this part here, where you're filling in the back story in dialog? Don't do that. It's really unrealistic for Fiona to be talking like a narrator, and it'll take the audience out of the story a bit." Which part?" Well, here: 'When I was little, I was locked in a pitch-black closet all day at a friend's house,. We traveled a few more miles until I felt I couldn’t wait any longer. Judy was panting and mewing in delight as I pulled off the rest of her clothes and lay her on her back across the soft leather the seat. Watching this gorgeous wife of my rival writhing naked in front of me was more than I could bear. She grabbed the hand-strap in the limo as I positioned myself over her and bit her neck as I rammed my throbbing cock into the depths of her womanhood. I didn’t move for a few moments as I savored the feel of her hot velvet glove surround the length of my steel-hard shaft. Judy screamed aloud as we lay wrapped in our illicit embrace, then we slowly began to rock in unison to the music of the primitive dance of love. Slowly at first, then faster and faster. I felt the explosion in my brain first, then felt the heat wash over my body as I thrust deeper and deeper inside her. I tried to make it last longer, but couldn’t. Wave after wave of blessed relief poured over me as I filled her.
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