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Beloved. Could I regret experiencing all that? Tasting him? Feeling him inside me? Seeing him watch me with such strangely devoted eyes?Remembering a question I asked myself not long ago, though it seemed like years before, I wondered again how long ago I’d started wanting him. The whole affair had exploded so intensely and quickly that it couldn’t have just begun when he started sniffing around. And the hate I had for him for all those years always seemed tinged with something else. If you truly dislike someone, you feel indifferent, don’t you? Sparks don’t ignite and pop down your spine when you see them. No, I’d felt a puzzling mixture of things for Patrick for as long as I could remember.Since... Then everything clicked into place. I didn’t just want Patrick.“Do you know when I first started loving you?” I asked him, not realizing my prolonged silence had sent him into his own quiet whirlwind of thoughts. His head snapped up and the heat in his eyes nearly made me stop speaking.. What he didn’t realize was that his charm was very effective; I just pretended as if it wasn’t. I was faced with an ongoing struggle of conflicted feelings: an internal war raging within: lust versus reason and lust seemed to be winning the battle.We rode in silence for the remainder of our drive until we finally reached the mansion. The staff was waiting for us when we pulled into the roundabout.“Here we are.” Kurt killed the engine. “All safe and sound.” He turned to me. “I’m sorry I didn’t answer your questions. No one has ever analyzed me before like that.”“I’m sorry. I’m direct to a fault.” “Don’t apologize. Those are the qualities I’m looking for in a manager. How are you feeling?”“I'm tired. That was quite a day.”“Why don't you go in and rest. It will be a couple hours till dinner, just enough time for a hot bath. May I suggest the burgundy dress for this evening? It matches my dinner jacket perfectly.” He opened the passenger door and assisted in my exit.oOoHe was right; the.
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