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"Eric I was just joking, you know I love Melissa, she's like my best friend. I know you're tired after all of that work, so just come on down. You can wear whatever you'd like. Your steak is almost ready. If you hurry you can eat it, fresh off the grill the way you like it."Andie went back out to the pool. I heard her say, "He was just getting changed. He'll be right down."I went back out the front door. I don't think they even realized that I was leaving until they heard my Mustang's loud assed exhaust system. I drove down by the lake and stopped off at a Burger King on the way. I parked in front of the lake and ate my double whopper with cheese, while I played some games on my iPad. After I ate I read a few stories about swingers on one of those internet web sites. I had nothing against people who wanted to trade partners, but it just wasn't for me. I got out of the car and spent some time throwing rocks into the lake.During the evening I saw several attractive single women pass by,. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.AWESOME!!! Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to givethis thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.Am I wrong?So, there I sat! in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses.
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