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Luckily granny was a good sleeper. Now the rain fell steadily with occasional thunder and lightning. It was good for us for any we didn’t have to be so quiet any more. I switched on the nightlight.Naani and devi were both freshly washed and smelled of perfumed talc. They were carrying a small satchel. They took some snacks some bananas and left them on the table. Naani took a bottle of milky liquid and placed it on the table. Then she placed a small bottle of oil on the table. I examined the large bottle, uncapped it and smelt it. Naani and devi smiled..“it is fresh toddy,” devi said. “it is sweet, you can taste it if you want. We usually take a bit every day to refresh ourselves after a hard day in the fields.”I took a sip. It tasted like fresh coconut water. I took a gulp. I wanted to take another gulp when devi stopped me. “drink it slowly,” she warned. Then they too took a gulp each. I was not used to taking liquor. We then sat on the floor. Within a few minutes, as we were. I walked out and refused to come back to you two. I didn’t want you to have to worry about me hurting your son, or even you.’ Max didn’t even know if she was listening. The thought that she may not even remember what he was saying seemed to make him relax. ‘I remember when we were little, the summer your aunt asked you to go to her house a whole state away for a month. I was so lonely without you to get into mischief with me. You called me up and told me how you missed me and wished you could come home.’ He paused. ‘I felt that way the whole time I was away from you.’ ‘I lost my best friend. I lost the love of my life. I lost out on watching my own child, our child, growing up. I missed out on everything because I was stupid and ran from them. I made excuses to cover up my own cowardice.’ Max looked at her, falling into a silence. Her eyes were open, she was looking at him. ‘You will never know just how much I loved you. The thing is, I still do.’ He said so quietly she barely heard.
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