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.I was totally in love with her and she was surprised to see candles everywhere and I was on my knees…I hold her hand kissed that andMe :- be mineShe : – make me yoursMe:- I love youShe: – love you tooWhen she said that, I pulled her close to me, she turned back and I stick to her holding her waist tight moved her hairs and kissed her on her neck….Wow the way she got melted in my arms with that move, turned her looked into her eyes, moved my hands to hold her head, and the kiss then was the most passionate, yes it was hard, yes it was with emotions,yes it was soo much of love, we exchanged our tongue,we were just lost in each other lips, I slide down her outer garment of her nighty and then pushed her towards the wall, we want it badly now, the heat was burning us completely…I was kissing her badly, neck.Was biting there,on her breast, licking everywhere , had the complete hold of her hand, yes she was starving, yes she was breathing heavy, yes the heat in that room was too getting. Professional mental health people tell me over and over that it wasn’t my fault but I carry so much guilt for the times I would go to him and seduce my way into his attention. If you have ever have wondered about the mental anguish and pain regarding rape I can tell you from my own experience that I feel so much less guilt from the times in my life when a man would force himself on me, and hit me, and restrain me and force sex on my body. I do not struggle to call those times rape. What I struggle to believe no matter how many people tell me so is that it was also rape the times I went to him and the times, God these words are even hard to say, but that I wanted him, I wanted to do those naughty games we played. Guys have asked me a question that I still struggle with wanting to lie about and that is, “Did it feel good?” I am so full of shame that it did sometimes. I am so full of shame that many times I wanted to feel him touch me. I am so full of shame that I would go to.
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