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I got hand jobs at the movie theater. We began to look at all public places from the standpoint of where could screw without being caught or seen. I carried a bedroll and hard foam cushion in the back of my Expedition so we could screw in parking lots. It twisted my head. I became obsessed with our sex life.I invited her to spend a week in Puerto Vallarta. It was the best sex of my entire life! We used up a quart of massage oil. I bribed the maid because of the mess we made of the sheets. I thought I knew about sex because I had been married and had screwed a few women before marriage. I was wrong. There were a bunch of really erotic things that I had never experienced. Carol always made me feel like I was in charge, but we somehow ‘discovered’ several erotic love acts that I had never performed before. The hotel was located at the south edge of town in a semi-private cove. The movie ‘Night of the Iguana’ had been filmed near there in the sixties with Liz Taylor and Richard Burton.. . .Husband: Those nutty North Koreans.Employee 1: We know. Of course, they’re who we got this technology from, so they can’t be all bad.Husband: I suppose not. All right. So, 24 hours?Employee 2: Absolutely, sir. What time is your dinner party? Husband: Starts at 5:30 tomorrow.Employee 1: That’s perfect. We’ll get her back to you by 4. You can give her a test run before guests arrive.Husband: She’ll be able to help me host? Employee 2: Sir, she’ll do anything you want. That’s our guarantee, or we buy her from you.Husband: All right.[EMPLOYEE 2 slings the unconscious, straitjacketed WIFE over his shoulder. She moans.] Employee 2: She’s waking up, Don.Employee 1: Then we’d best take her in, Rob. Don’t worry, sir. We’ll fix her. [HUSBAND shakes EMPLOYEES’ hands. Scene freezes. SPOKESMAN walks out in front of the image.]Spokeman: Many customers prefer the 48-hour option, but there is a 24-hour option. It costs extra, and it does cause the subject agony, but . . . well, that’s the price.
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