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I turn to look and no one is there. I turn and pick up my pace. My mental state is so fragile I just figure it’s my mind playing tricks. Again, I hear a little girl say “daddy” this time the voice comes from directly in front of me. I instinctively say “hello’. There is no reply but I am freaked out. As I reach my front yard the voice asks “daddy, why didn’t you decorate for Christmas”. I run into the house lock the door and grab the scotch. I ask rhetorically why I didn’t start drinking months ago. I laugh to myself and have a small drink. I try to sleep but I cant. I am hearing voices? Is my overwrought mind finally giving up? I am not as sad as I have been. I drift off to sleep. I sleep till 9:00am, which is 4 hours past my usual time. It’s a sunny frigid day outside. I think back to my childhood. My dad ran the dime store and always made sure we had a candy cane in the morning during the last week before Christmas. I decide I will carry on the tradition. I go to the mega mart to. I watched closely, waiting for her to begin."I only called you once this week, not because I didn't want to talk to you or know how you were. I didn't trust myself. You see, I've been nagged by something and its better that I ask you in person." Ask me anything," I offered."Can I trust you to tell me the truth?"What kind of question was that? Was she referring to the lie I'd admitted to telling to the preservation society lady about beams in the barn rotting? Surely, she wouldn't know about me telling some of the church members that if Gordon had shown up for duty that day he would have known that updating the barn was likely to cost a small fortune. That was technically a lie, too. He wouldn't know because I would not have told him."I'll be truthful. What's been nagging you?" I asked, hoping she would believe me."You said you were near marriage with Marian." I said we were talking about it." You said it would be a marriage of convenience?" That's right." You also said you are over.
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