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He didn’t need anyone to tell him he was a striking, attractive man, he knew this to be true. He also knew in his heart that kind, gentlemen like himself are easily broken by the carelessness of others. After several heartbreaks he has retreated into a safe, albeit empty, solitude. That loneliness began to ebb when she moved into the apartment facing his. It was also when he first started to feel the compulsion to write again. Certainly he had written love letters and short poems for previous lovers, but never had the urge been so great. They were just lines, half-thoughts, at first. Soon, though, he became bolder. Odes and stories, and soon journals began to fill his once bare shelves. But his secret remained a heavy secret, never had even mentioned his redhaired subject, even to the closest of friends. In the year he had watched her and listened to her exquisite siren song, he grew thinner, knowing that he was pining for her. Despite his discretion, his attention did not go. Dearest Jim, Ellen, Claire, Nadia, PJ, Terry, Dan, and everyone –Words fail me; I have no explanation for my terrible behavior. I have gone off to a place that I hope will help me return to being a whole person without the bad habits that sunk me. I hope I can recover at this point. I never realized the path I got on was so steep and would end in such a notorious way. I hope you can each forgive me in your own way. I never expect you to take me back, just please forgive me and know that I am sorry to my very core. I love you all, and I already miss you every second of every day. You're all I can think about. I've barely stopped crying since I left; I can't believe what I did to you all. I love you.CrystalI numbly read the printed page with the email on it, passed it back to Ellen almost without emotion at that instant. I then walked out the front door of the house, sat on the front steps, and cried for two more hours. At least, we knew she was safe somewhere she might heal.My heart.
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