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“I wouldn’t know what to do.”Nancy gave him a funny look. “Dave, I only suggested a movie. You buy a ticket, I buy a ticket, we sit down with popcorn and watch a motion picture.”“I know that!” he said in exasperation. “It’s just that, well, I’ve never really...”“What, dated?” asked Nancy. Dave shrugged and nodded, and she stared at him. “Are you trying to tell me that you managed to get married and have two kids and never once dated your wife? That’s nuts!”“No, it’s just that, well ... Emily and I, we were, like, always meant to be. I mean, we always knew she was the one for me and I was the one for her. Even as kids. She grew up two houses down from me, and we played together even when we were in kindergarten. All through school, we were together. I first proposed to her on the swing set when we were six, and she accepted, even then.”“That’s so sweet!”“Yeah, but ‘going-out-with-somebody-new-and-getting-to-know-them’ dating? We never did that sort of thing. It was just that when we. My male pride had been hurt. I almost felt like a proud elk being stripped of its horns, an elephant without a trunk, or a stud without its junk. It also felt like Ivan was eying me creepily, and grinning incongruously to every mention of a word even remotely related to intercourse, like 'milk', 'butter', or 'hoe'. Before abject terror pulled at my instincts and made me leap outside a truck doing eighty on the interstate, he turned and said to me with an approving tone, proudly waving a badly groomed finger in the air:"You talk like man. Ivan like that. Sexy; like a man."I tried not to think of that as a compliment, or even a comment of any kind.Steve looked slightly miffed, sitting somewhat uncomfortably, nursing his jaw. It looked like the last punch had left him a purple-coloured souvenir. It's only reasonable then that he must've unwillingly disconnected his mouth from his brain when he said:"I hope you are not developing a thing for me, because I'd have you know I'm not into-"I.
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