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"Big C. Three months."Silently I began to curse Mitchell for having given me such pleasure on a night that would become a horror show. In a bitter-sweet ending, it blessedly took less than two months. And in some weird circumstance, I began, half the time anyway, to refer to Jesse as 'dad'. I couldn't make love to Mitchell during those last months while Mom was still alive and bless his heart, he didn't press me. Oh sure, he must have been fucking any number of girls during that period.Jesse and I continued to live in the house, quite chastely. Unlike Mom, Jesse was now quite a bit older, and had no desire to date other women. Like some birds and animals, and even a few humans, he went into seclusion, foregoing social relationships. When I dated, he stayed home, watching television, sipping some alcohol, but never getting drunk.And so it happened. Mitch and I had spent a lovely evening in his dorm room, in his bed. But I couldn't stay all night. Jesse of course knew that Mitchell and. ‘Hey, how much money do you have?’ ‘About a hundred,’ he said wiping tears from his beautiful brown eyes, ‘ Why?’ ‘Jason, you’ve seen the change. I –can’t go back. I wanted to be with you tonight. I-‘ I wanted him to save me from what I had become. It seemed as if he knew that already. ‘We’ll get a room and spend the night.’ I smiled at him and kissed his cheek. ‘Can I use your cell please?’ He handed me his phone and I called my father to tell him that I was going to stay at my friend’s house for the night. He bought it. We talked as friends as we drove. It really felt good to tell him the truth. I felt a little like myself again. We pulled up at a Holliday Inn, bought our room and went inside. ‘I am going to go take a shower. I will be back in ten.’ I walked into the bathroom and began to run the shower water. As I stepped in, I welcomed the scalding hot water on my skin. It was like a punishment. Layna walked into the bathroom and I sat on the bed. It cradled me as if to say,.
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