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If she never forgave me, theres nothing that will make it worth that. Even if she did forgive me, I would always remember how badly I hurt Kathryn, and there is still nothing worth that. Other people and other couples may choose a different lifestyle than Kathryn and I. Theres nothing wrong with their lifestyle, but theres nothing wrong with the lifestyle Kathryn and I have. Theres just something different for different people. Kathryn and I are exclusives. We only need and want each other to be happy. Other people with their lifestyles may not practice exclusivity and thats fine for them. Its their choice and who am I to make decisions for them, as I reserve the right to make my own decisions I can want no less for them. Pushing the combination of buttons that do the remote start on my SUV, is a hot muggy day here. The three recently from California really can tell the difference in climate. Joan complains, How do you guys stand this humidity? Kathryn said flatly, It isnt the best. .., well let us just say there were some of my size10's I was not struggling to get my fat butt into. Still I understoodwhat she was saying. In some ways she was more excited about all of thisthan I was.That night we talked bout the rest of the decor and I was fine with thefurniture in there but I did have that antique desk and file cabinet Iwould like bring with me. Not that I used it like I did in my formercareer and life but I had grown a special attachment to them. Maybe in away I wanted as piece of my old life to remind me of that and how far Ihad come. Didn't bring that up to Mom but I should talk to Dr. Wagnerabout that as he is better qualified to help me to that answer.The one thing I had learned was he or as he told me no therapist isabout giving answers but rather helping the client come to them. Healways told me we know the answers to most questions already but forsome reason don't see or admit them. It was the job of a therapist notto give answers but to get one to look.
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