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“My golfing is over! Please Doc, what’s the good news?”“The good news is ... I have another one to replace it with, but it’s a woman’s arm and I’ll need your permission before I can go ahead with the transplant.”“Go for it doc,” says the man, “as long as I can play golf again.”The operation went well and a year later the man was out on the golf course when he bumped into the surgeon.“Hi, how’s the new arm?” asks the surgeon.“Just great,” says the golfer. “I’m playing the best golf of my life. My new arm has a much finer touch, and my putting has really improved.”“That’s great,” said the surgeon.“Not only that,” continued the golfer, “my handwriting has improved, I’ve learned how to sew my own clothes and I’ve even taken up painting landscapes in watercolors.”“That’s unbelievable!” said the surgeon, “I’m so glad to hear the transplant was such a great success. Are you having any side effects?”“Well, just two, said the golfer, “I have trouble parallel parking, and every time I get an. His attacker, unlike in the movies, was not flung back ten feet, he was not instantly incapacitated and, in fact, didn't even realize he'd been shot at first. The human body is an amazing machine, and even though the 230 grain round from Doug's .45 had severed one of the largest arteries in the body, it would be several seconds before blood loss from internal bleeding weakened the man enough for him to cease his attack.Instead, he twisted the blade as it came out, and stabbed him again, this time in the abdomen. Doug was already having trouble breathing; the pain in his chest was severe, and the second stab was almost enough to make him black out. He used his now useless Glock to club the man on the head, striking him in the eyes and across the bridge of the nose. As his attacker started to pull back and attempt to defend his face, he appeared to have trouble staying on his feet, slowly slumping to the pavement.From inside the store, there was a scream as the florist saw the attack.
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