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How do you forget?* *A few nights later, we were lying in bed. I was closer to Seattle. Shewas closer to New York. There was a lot of space in the middle of thebed. In our marriage, too.I leaned over and touched her shoulder."Friday," she said."Huh?" I said."You can have Fridays. You can wear your dress and you can put onmakeup, and you can be Liberace's sister. I won't be here. I'll go to amovie or something. I don't know why I'm doing this. I hope it helpsmore than it hurts. But you can be a sissy on Friday if you promise notto try it the rest of the week. I don't want you in my clothes." No," I said. "I won't be." No?" she said."No...ma'am?"She nodded. "I want you to put on your bra for me."I started to make her repeat herself, but I didn't. I rose and went tothe closet. I grabbed a workout bag where I kept my finery, and I dugout a flowered bra. I put it on. The straps felt good.Karen walked up to me and traced the bra with her fingers. "Do you likethat?" Yes, ma'am." Put on. The first violin. I bet he has fingers that can work magic on her—but then even mine could. I stayed away from the quartet as much as I could but, while I talked and joked with donors and tried to pretend I was having a good time, we’d drift through. I saw her put her hand on his arm when the group took a break, and laugh at something he said. I’d like to be glad she’s over me. Oh, I am. I am. I’m so goddamned, fucking glad. * * * * * The cello was a big part of whatever it was we had. She was playing it the first time I saw her, in one of those anonymous string quartets at a Friday evening reception in Brookline. She wasn’t special. Another musician. Of course she was dressed all in black except the white blouse: black skirt, black tie, black stockings, black shoes. She wore a tiny, ruby pendant on a fine gold chain. They were the only things of color about her. She herself is pale. She had no makeup. Oh there were nice touches. The clothing set her skin off well. So did her dark.
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