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He actually asked me for permission to pursue Maria! I gave him my blessings, although I warned him that she might not be inclined towards monogamy. I didn’t know that for sure, because it had never been important to me, but I warned him, nevertheless. I had never spoken to Maria about such matters, because it didn’t make a difference to me so long as she was always available for my needs.After he left, there I sat looking at my phone and the number for Aurora, wondering what the protocol was for calling a woman who you wanted to pursue. No, who I needed to pursue. I thought that I’d heard something about waiting three days from some of the young residents at the hospital. Could I possibly wait so long?At that moment, my ring tone for my new love began to play, my homage to my long-lost Aurora — the opening bars of Debussy’s ‘La fille aux cheveux de lin’ — ‘The girl with the flaxen hair.’ I answered.“Christian?” she asked and my heart skipped a beat.I was too tongue-tied to answer. I love you, Sarah.’ ‘I love you, too, Ben.’ He gave me one final kiss, before wrapping his arm around me. Soon, he was asleep and I was now alone with my thoughts and sexual frustration. This was not a new occurrence with Ben. Actually, this was quite a frequent problem in our relationship. Ben preferred the classic love making approach of kisses and sex. Getting him to do much else was a struggle. I had tried on numerous occasions to get him to try different positions, oral sex, or foreplay of any kind, but he always found it uncomfortable and awkward and it became more of a mood killer than an enhancement. I was also reluctant to masturbate, as I was not fully comfortable with my body. So, many nights I found myself lying in an uncomfortable, sexual stalemate. But I was willing to accept it. After all, I was madly in love with the most romantic man on the planet. He cared for me and loved me, even when I was at my low. So, I was content to continue this bout of sexual frustration..
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