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There was another more recent post that neither Jess nor I had seen at that point.‘FUCKING BULLSHIT! Crazy ass bitch ratted me out to my boss at work AND I have a nasty voicemail from my FUCKING mother! Who the fuck does that!’Scrolling more, she found the photo and caption of her that had sparked Jess’ fury.She dialed Jess.“Jess, what the fuck did you guys do?!” Emma hissed into the phone as soon as Jess answered.“Well, did you ever see the Godfather? You mess with my neighbor, you mess with my whole family. I’m pretty sure it went something like that. I never actually saw it. Anyway, we had to balance the scales of justice. And we did,” Jess said evenly.“You guys didn’t have to do that, you know,” Emma said.“Oh, but we did. And trust me, his chubby chasing days are over,” Jess responded.“Well ... thank you. Tell Aaron thank you for me as well,” Emma said quietly.“No problem, girlfriend. We got your back.”After hanging up with Jess, Emma saw she had a new email.“From: SuperMatch. My legs. Did I mention my legs? Sometimes I think my legs have a life of their own. Sometimes I eat a lot of cake to see if they’ll notice me. It doesn’t work. My legs go on doing their own beautifully defined thing. I beat the dress down with my hands. “I like your shoes,” he admired. “You like my shoes?” I asked, bewildered. “That’s it? My shoes?” I tell you, that’s the first man who’s ever liked me for my shoes. And they weren’t expensive shoes—they weren’t Manolo Blanhik or Prada. I bought them at a junk shop when I was a student. Very high, very pale yellow and very strappy. They went with the gown. “Are you married?” I asked. “No. But I could be. Are you good with children and dogs?” “Dogs?” But he had to go. He was in a hurry. He had more important matters to attend to, a plane to catch. I caught hold of his foot at the top of the ladder as it was about to disappear over the embankment. He turned to look at me strung out below. “My shoes,” I said again. I had taken them off.
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