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I ate a light supper and headed to bed. What else was there for me to do? On the weekends, I helped with Sam's subjects in math and business. Other than that, things were the same; no sex and tired all the time, but I knew that I could see a faint light at the end of the tunnel. Little did I know that that light was the damn train that derailed my life, rather than the end of the tunnel.Things progressed well, or maybe not so well, but we got through the days; and I slept the nights next to my wife. Then Sam's birthday came up on the 18th of October. We got Sam a new backpack, and some video games, but it was mostly clothes. He was already outgrowing the stuff we'd bought in August for the start of school.Sam seemed to act a little funny around me right before, and just after, his birthday. It was almost as if he knew a secret and wanted to tell me, but couldn't. I passed it off as teenaged angst, and left it alone. He would tell me when he felt the time was right, I hoped.Two days. ”“We’ve had this discussion before.” Saahil was sounding exasperated. “When you hang out with Ibrahim’s gang, people respect you and like you and want to be like you. And being gay just…”“People respect me, like me and want to be like me,” I said, truthfully, “Because I have no problem expressing myself.”“No, it’s because you’re fucking jacked. If you weren’t, no one would take you seriously.”“So what? You’ve got serious acceptance issues.” I felt like I was wasting my point. “Let’s face it, you’re a horrible replacement for Bill. You can never be as popular as him… you don’t have his personality, his looks and his 80 kilos of muscle.”“That’s not true.”“What, did you actually believe you could replace him?”“No, but… no one takes me seriously.”“That is as false as saying that you’re not a slut.” I didn’t know what drove me to say that. Maybe I had cracked. Maybe I was taking the mick. But I had said it, and it led to an awkward silence.“What did you call me?” Saahil asked, and I could.
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