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I had no idea... "oh, right like SHE gets a vote!" at this they both laughed. the little brunette broke in-"ok, let's start over! her face?" hmmm... I'd say a... two." a TWO!! wow. really?oh, c'mon she's not that bad!" "I don't like her nose. It's too puged. and her cheeks are too... round. she looks like... porky pig!" this really busted them up.i've never liked my round cheeks or pugged nose either,and was afraid they made me look fatter than I really was, but these brats were talking like I WASN'T EVEN THERE!! though unable to speak, I was really getting pissed!!"yeah, but I still say her face is above a TWO... I'll give her a four." I felt relief that the brunette liked me... but suddenly stupid for even caring!"yer NUTS!! a fours just below "average". there's no way she's THAT good looking!" right,sweetie?"the little blond girl asked me in a mocking tone.my gut screamed that they were BOTH uglier than me.but that didn't seem to matter. it wasn't THEM who are on display here.... Cain did push me to stop focusing on what they did - which was something I couldn’t change - and focus what I could do something about.Saturday night, I concluded I was being selfish. They still wanted to be with me, and I still wanted to be with them. Why was I resisting that?Because I was afraid of hurting them. Say what you will about it only being a dream, but the power-lust was real. How long would it be before I gave in to it? My mom let it take her, and now she was still trying to atone for her sins.For once, the sermon Sunday at church spoke to me. Peter 4:8: “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” That passage had been the foundation for allowing me to live without fear. This sermon explored how the love for Jesus Christ made you less likely to sin to begin with. But to carry him in your heart wasn’t enough if you didn’t carry him in your head as well.That spoke to me. I had let my distaste for the church’s fearmongering messages.
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