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"Why am I here?" I asked carefully. He continued to stare, a look that frankly was beginning to creep me out a bit. I tried again. "Look, pal, I'll take the concussion and the free ride, but I think some answers wouldn't be out of line. What's going on?"He grunted, and then hawked up a wad of phlegm and casually spit to the side. "Boss'll be here soon. He'll tell you." Why don't you give me a preview?" I asked."Can't do that," he said flatly, "I'm too dumb to do that. I'm just a dumb jock." In the same monotone he continued, "She shouldn't have married me because I'm just a dumb jock."I kept a neutral expression on my face, but inwardly I felt like it would be nice to be screaming in terror about now. That neutral, monotonic recitation of that extra line, a complete non sequiter, was very worrisome to me."Um... who shouldn't have married you?" I asked carefully, feeling like I was walking over a minefield."Meg," he said listlessly. "I am too dumb to keep her happy. Just a dumb jock,. It had been over two kilometers below the surface when we found it. However, the computer's backup image was successfully copied into the core and the thing came up, then started initializing subsystem after subsystem. Soon we were confronted with a working alien machine intelligence. We first learned that some sort of guiding intelligence had come into play when the ship's hatches locked our ROV out of sensitive areas aboard the ship. Then we noticed repair drones flitting around, almost too fast to see. Next we discovered that the ROV was being tracked by cameras. That was enough for me. I had the pilots move their robot in front of a camera, turn its screen towards said camera and start running the computer-to-computer first contact script. Number theory and mathematics up to calculus and planetary motion was displayed. Then the basics of an alphabet was demonstrated along with the sounds of the letters played on the ROV's speaker. Next, simple animations were displayed along side.
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