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When an attractive young female of upper class up-bringing is found walking around stark naked in public mumbling crazy lyrics that sounded more like “Gilbert and Sullivan” than any tune of current popularity, it is considered appropriate handling to ship her off to the nearest funny farm for sorting out in a formal environment. My photo in the paper was sufficient to prompt several relatives to come forward and own up that I was one of their clan and the arrangements were made without my consent because my eyes had a certain blankness that preempted any discussion.You can call me Honey, but my real name is Patricia Westminster and for most of my adult life I was addressed as “Lady Patricia” by friends and strangers alike. I always felt a little foolish being called “Lady” because a lot of the time my thoughts about the males in close proximity to my person were decidedly on the sensual side and in some instances plain downright naughty enough to be censored by competent authority.. When I woke, it was dark. I’d slept for six hours. Hushed voices came from the living room and I padded along the carpet in my socks and listened.“I didn’t know you took this?” said Edith.“The two of you were having so much fun. I didn’t want to disturb you,” said Marjorie.I looked through the crack in the door. I’d just pulled all the files from the weekend from my phone onto Marjorie’s computer without checking. She’d filmed me and Edith when we thought she was asleep.“God, I look like a slut,” said Edith. She covered her eyes in mock embarrassment.“A man doesn’t look at a slut like that, Edith. You look like lovers. We know the difference between making love and fucking. You two are making love. Jeff really likes you, Edith.”She looked away from the screen. “No. It’s just a bit of weekend fun. I couldn’t do anything more. Besides, I’ve got you to keep an eye on. No more wandering down the high street.” She gave Marjorie a hug.“You’re such a wonderful friend to me, Edith. I would.
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