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"I could see she had no intention of being put down so she would be under her own power. I didn't want it that way either. I was in heaven and I had my angel in my arms.We had taken but a few steps toward the monster looking room filled with squares and tubes, slides and platforms to play on when Michelle pressed her face into my neck and whispered "Thanks dad."Then even more softly, she added, "Usually I have to eat all of my food before I can play."At that, I played DAD for a second. "Well, you still have to take a time out from playing to eat, Peanut."Michelle didn't answer me but I felt her grip on my neck tighten. She gave a few sobs into my neck and I felt some familiar moisture building on my shoulder."Dad, why are you so nice to me?" Because it's easy," I told her. "And because I love you and mom." It's been hard," Michelle said. "Living with Grandmother, it's been hard. I don't think she loves me or mom at all." It's OK. Michelle. You're here now and you won't ever have to go. The conversation was going nowhere but ugly. "I never even asked for it. I'm not the freak wandering the house asleep and doing weird stuff to her younger brother."She sat up stiff. I'd gone too far. "Okay," she stood up, "I'll be certain to lock my door every night." She turned and stiffly walked out of the room and down the hall to the bedrooms. "Bye-bye really really good," she spat over her shoulder.That left me to stand myself to shoulder the burden of turning off the t.v. and all the lights. That didn't take long, but it was long enough to make a point. By the time I walked down the hall to my own room, passing my sister's door, hearing her lock click shut at such delay was an obvious punctuation mark.I was like yea, fuck you, whatever. I got into my room and stripped down for bed. I thought about twisting--loudly--my door lock, but by then I was in bed. I didn't even feel like jacking off; I just turned of my reading lamp and plunged my room into darkness.Before I fell asleep I.
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