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She gave me ‘the look.’“Don’t get your panties in a twist. A gentleman gets out first for two reasons. The first is to assist his lady as she exits the car. The second is to block the paparazzi from seeing whether she has any panties on if she’s wearing a skirt.”“Well, then, by all means,” she said, putting on her best haughty airs.I got out and ran around to open her door. In a limo, there’s room for the man to get out first. In an SUV, I would have had to climb over her. I made a big show of assisting her out. Jackie caught it all, as did several paparazzi that had been tipped off. My security guy made sure we didn’t have to deal with the paparazzi in our faces. I helped Miranda into the carriage.Jackie waited until we were situated, and then she joined us to arrange how she wanted us to sit and to place the blanket across our laps. Who knew that A&F sold blankets? Of course, it had a red, tan and charcoal tartan design.“Just act like I’m not here,” Jackie instructed.Yeah,. "Goodbye dearie," the old crone smiled; "here's a free gift for you; a pair of scented candles."Your wife protested that she couldn't accept, because she'd not bought anything, but the old crone insisted, and pressed the small package into your wife's hands."What an odd shop, and what an odd woman," your wife mused, as she made her way along the street._____________________________That evening, over dinner and a glass of red, your wife related the details of her day's shopping, including the strange experience with the old lady in the curiosity shop. "I'd quite forgotten the candles that I was given," your wife exclaimed as she got up from the table and went and rummaged through her bag. "Here they are," she laughed, as she pulled the wrapping paper away."Why, they're black,* she said in surprise, "strange colour for candles, and look, they've got some sort of weird writing on them when you look closely."Lighting the candles before you both sat down to watch a movie, your wife.
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