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. I would have gotten out today."Short onesHow many women does it take to change a light bulb?None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch.What's the fastest way to a man's heart?Through his chest with a sharp knife.Why are men and parking spaces alike?Because all the good ones are taken and the only ones left are disabled.Why do men want to marry virgins?They can't stand criticism.Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good looking?Because those men already have boyfriends.What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.What do you call a smart blonde?A golden retriever.Why does the bride always wear white?Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator.What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?"Are you sure it's. It's justlike I told you it would be. You don't need the robe."You entice me in that seductive voice you use when cajoling me intodoing things that make me uncomfortable. I have heard you speak this wayso many times, when I shaved away my pubic hair, when I stepped intoheels for the first time, when I started going to clubs wearing a sexyminiskirt. Honestly, you sound a little silly when you speak that way.But I always give in. I have not shown my bare body to anyone but you since assuming afeminine role. I hesitate."Go ahead, little girl," you gently urge. "Let people see how beautifulyou are."I stand and tenuously untie the belt of the robe. I peel back one sideof the coverup then the other. One quick wiggle and the wrap falls frommy shoulders and onto the chair. Above the heels, I wear nothing morethan makeup and earrings.I scan the area. All eyes have fixed on me. One man even pokes hissleeping buddy so they can enjoy the show together.The stilettos lengthen my calves and thighs.
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