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”I said, “Okay Uncle Abe, next time it gets all swoll up I’m gonna be real proud of it.” Anyway, me and Uncle Abe finished up our long talk, and I walked away knowin’ I was now a man, with a pecker that could swell up fit to bust. I reckoned it wouldn’t be too long ‘fore I’d meet me a lady that liked me in that particular way and she’d be wantin’ me to put my pecker up there inside her special place and take to sawin’ on it. Later on that afternoon, I was thinkin’ about ladies and peckers again, and next thing I knowed, my pecker was all swoll up again, only this time instead of being scared it was gonna fall off, I was right proud of it. I reckoned Granma McCutcheon’d be right proud of me too if I went out and showed her, so I went into the kitchen with my jeans all poked out from my swoll up pecker, and I said, “Look at me Granma! I’m a man! Look how hard my pecker’s gone!” Well, I reckon Granma musta been in one of her ornery moods that day, ‘cause she took one look at me and. " Pucey and Warrington grabbed bludgers and soared into the air, Bletchley close behind them. A few seconds later Crabbe's howl of pain marked the first hit."I didn't think Crabbe could move so fast," said Patty, slightly sickened by the way the boy's fat jiggled."Is that really necessary?"Montague turned to see Snape, who had walked onto the pitch unnoticed. "Is there some purpose to the exercise?" continued the potions master.Montague considered his reply. He was a somewhat unusual student, having long adopted a practice of being candid with teachers. Years earlier he had had an exchange with Snape along the following lines:Snape: Mr. Montague, have you done your homework? You seem very ill-prepared for today's lesson.Montague (standing before replying): Sir, I did not do the homework, and I am unprepared.Snape (somewhat baffled): Surely you have an excuse of some kind.Montague: I have none, sir. I spent the evening doing nothing useful, thinking I'd get up early and do the work.
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