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.. there's no coming back. Once it's done, it's done. It is what it is.I swallow hard. Hardly words of encouragement. But be brave, just be brave for once. I go up the stairs slowly, gripping tight to the railing, faltering outside her door, my hand raised. I grit my teeth and rap my hand lightly against the wood, the sound staccato in the silence. And it seems like the door opens almost immediately, but my sense of time is all screwed up.She wasn't asleep. She doesn't look like she's been sleeping. Her brow crinkles. "Sam?"No dodging, no skirting, no avoiding why you're here. Just say what you have to say. "We need to talk. Now."Carly looks away, but she moves out of the doorway, to the side, gesturing me in. I run a hand through my hair, my fingers tangling in the thick locks, and walk over to her bed, sitting on it. I think better and stand. And even now I can't ignore the way her body affects me. And my eyes linger on the smooth skin of her legs, the shorts barely covering. Become someone other than me .... Become ...." Whom?" David closed his eyes. They felt wet under his lashes."Sophie .... Sophie I suppose. I seem to get carried away by itall. By the femininity. More and more." Dr. Tabatha's pencil stilled. She nodded. "And it is unpleasant? Unpleasant at the time? Or .... like yourdreams? Only when you wake?" When I jerk back into reality. Like wakening; when I realise whathas happened.... I feel ashamed that I let myself .... And fearfulthat ....." Fearful?" Dreadfully. Scared to death." Of what?" That I am losing myself. That in the future I will loose myself.Become someone, no something, other. There can be no greater fear." And yet the experience itself is not unpleasant?" The pencil wasmoving again, turning slowly now, thoughtfully even, the fingersconsidering every twist."No." The word emerged reluctantly. "The reverse really. When I amrelaxed, contented even, I am most vulnerable to it. To .... tobeing other than me."The wetness behind his.
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