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When my mom asked which movie I’d like to watch, I thought for a while before answering. I didn’t want to suggest anything too obvious, but I wanted a good movie with a fair bit of sexual tension.“Are you into Louis Malle?” I asked my mom.“I love Louis Malle,” she answered. “Atlantic City was one of my favourites. Burt Lancaster was a bit old by then, but he was still hot!”“Burt Lancaster wasn’t hot, come on,” I jokingly replied.“Google him!” my mom insisted. “Look at his photos from the 50s and 60s!”“I’m not going to look for photos of Burt Lancaster, mom, don’t be silly,” I said, laughing out loud. “But seriously, I have an old Louis Malle film on DVD. It’s called Murmur of the Heart. Do you want to watch it?”“What is it all about?” my mom inquired.“It’s like an artsy film from the early 70s,” I started. “It’s the story of a teenage boy who becomes ill and goes on a vacation with his mom.”“Is it any good?” she asked.“It’s a bit of a cult movie,” I offered. “It’s not popular and you. 'No problem, Judy. What you wanna do? Quiet meal, come watch TV, massage your neck if you want, promise not to hit on you.' Weak laugh.'Uh, Doug, I feel real wobbly. I'm gonna take a Tylenol, go to bed. I feel so bad about this... ' Click.'Shit, Judy, if you're sick, you're sick. You want me to bring you anything?''You're so sweet, but no. I'll just try to sleep and call you in the morning, OK?' I was sympathetic and we talked foolishness for another minute, and she said she loved me and hung up. I looked at the phone. Judy Olsen just lied to me. Never shit a shitter, Ms Judy. We know evasion when we hear it. I wondered for half a second whether to go see Annie, then turned the idea down flat. I was gonna be upset but loyal, stay at home, watch reruns of MASH. Something was moving for sure. Maybe I'd say a little prayer of gratitude.What I did instead was read some. History, not trash. Reading's a soothing thing to do, and for slackers it's the best. You can put the book down any.
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