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”“Huh?”What’s wrong with Bertram Owen Osgood Brewster?She handed me a pen, “Write the monogram out, Birdie.”Done. I gave it the double-o, and it took but a mo, “Oh.”“Birdie, Ms. Lane asked me to bring you up to speed on Gibraltar Soup.”Huh? I’d been Assistant Account Exec on Gibraltar far longer than Ms. Sloane had even been at BB.“What’s the primary goal of our Gibraltar Soup campaign?”“Sell more soup!” Easy one.Ms. Sloane seemed to sigh and settle down inside herself. If you know what I mean.“Birdie.”“Yes ma’am.”“You do know that soup represents less than five percent of Gibraltar’s net revenue.”“Huh?”Why call it Gibraltar Soup?“I’m sure you realize that once they bought a fleet of delivery trucks in 1996, they created a transportation arm that grew to almost 68 percent of their business.”I felt dizzy. “Oh sure. Transport. Yes, quite. Big help with the price of petrol drooping down.”Ms. Sloane looked out the window, then back at me. “Of course you’re also aware that Meg Gibraltar. I don’t get the super rich clients like those high class Madams do, but I am sure I can get some of my well-off Johns to pay as much as a thousand for one time with you…”“No, that is not what I want.” I interrupted her.“Excuse me?” she said puzzled.“I am not here for your well-off clients. I want to be one of the women people pay the lowest amount…which is what fifty rupees?” I asked, and she nodded. “I want to service the fifty rupee clients.”“Are you insane?” the Begum said, “You clearly have no idea how this business works. We have our ugliest, oldest and fattest whores working for fifty rupees. The kind of men who go for them are poor and uncouth barbarians, often old goats. They can be very rough and abusive.”“I don’t care. That is what I want. Consider me as one of the fifty rupee whores. And don’t try to trick me by sending in men from whom you have taken more money just by telling them about me. I will be able to spot those men. I want the fifty rupee guys only.”The Begum.
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