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While attempting to read I drift to thoughts of the night to come, I close my eyes, lean my head back against the tub and imagine how his touch will feel. What will he do first? How will his kisses feel and taste? Will he make love to me as slowly as he has so many times on the net, or will there be such urgency that it will go heated and fast? Images of him dance through my head. He is intoxicating. We met in a picchat room on the Internet. He was willing to listen and after a while, I was willing to share and trust. We shared hot moments as well as ups and downs, we even shared the daily ins and outs of life. He was there for me as much as he could possibly be, being an ocean apart and I missed him very much when there was something to keep him from meeting and chatting with me. I liked the feeling of being close to him, even if it were only on the net. I hated to admit I needed what we shared, hated to admit what I feel and how deep the need goes. I examined every moment we made. I was pissed because I’d spent a few hundred bucks being treated like shit by the two women who meant, who mean, the most to me. Nikki got home and we had a few brief internet conversations but we used to spend the entire day online. At the time I had a job that allowed me to spend basically the entire day online and with brief breaks for work. It’s the glory of retail when you are your own boss. There is often nothing at all to do all day so you pass the time how you please. She wrote me an email about how she was afraid she didn’t love her youngest child, that she only held him when she had to and too feed him but never any other time. Any idiot could tell she was suffering from Post Partum Depression, hell even my ex did. To be fair Karrin considering she can be a complete idiot about a huge plethora of things particularly how to read people and what to say she seems to have a gift for medical diagnosis. She would make a stunning doctor, like House but beautiful. Considering any.
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