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”Albert twirled his hair uncomfortably, unable to look up at her. “Of course you’re attractive Mom. But I don’t think about your body.”“But it would only be natural for you to. Lots of boys think about their mothers that way. It’s quite normal.” She paused carefully. “Maybe you’ve imagined me say … taking a shower?” The boy glanced up at his mother as she leaned back provocatively. “Huh Albert? Do you ever imagine the hot, steaming water running over me … over my nude body, me lathering myself, touching myself. With all those hormones running around in you. It’s only natural that sometimes you might think of me in ways that are … less than innocent.”“I don’t Mom!” he responded defensively.“I see. So if I said ‘Honey, I just bought this little negligee, and I’m wondering if I look OK in it. You wouldn’t be interested in checking me out in it and offering up an opinion?”“That would be a little too personal mom, don’t you think?”“Well it just so happens that I’ve got a. Hell they'd bemore likely to push me back into the rubble. Why am I even going??The plane's landed (safely) and I already see that things are of to a good start. Only myyounger brother's come out to greet me. Andy's even got one of those stupid signs with my nameon it as if I wouldn't recognize him. Here I am just a few feet from him and he doesn't knowit's me, how creepy."Hello Andy. Where's mom and dad?"He stands there staring at me blankly for a fully minute before finally realizing who I am."You look? Well you know dad, his heart?" Don't make excuses for them. I'm happy to see you again Andy. I've missed you a lot." Thisis hard for him. Yes of course it's hard for me, but Andy's never been good with awkwardsituations. Rather than drag this out I decide to change the topic, "Is that your car overthere? I'm shocked it hasn't fallen apart by now. Do you remember when you picked up thosetwo fat hitchhikers?" And the seat broke! Oh man that was great! Well I swear I've glued the.
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