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People were sympathetic, but anything more than a simple "I'msorry for your loss" was too much for me to cope with. Everything justhurt too much. At first, I couldn't bear to look at my reflection, knowing that every time I did I'd see you there, the ghost in themirror, reminding me what I'd lost. Later, I swung to the oppositeextreme. They say your body is a temple; well, mine became a shrine. Iwould spend hours at the dressing table meticulously doing my hair,make-up, and clothing in as precise a copy of how you did it as I couldmanage. I got very good at it. It was as if, in my pain and sorrow, Iwas somehow trying to recreate you with skirts, heels, lipstick, andpowder, unconsciously trying through some crude form of sympatheticmagic to bring you back to me.Ah, yes, magic.I realize now that the charms were magic, and that you used them toswitch our souls, and though I don't know where you could have acquiredsuch things I do know why. We were always very open with each otherabout. She had changed out of the dress she was wearing into denim shorts and a sleeveless blouse, and she was barefooted.I wasn't sure what all the foods were that I had unwrapped, but Vicki put the different frozen blocks of food in baking dishes and shoved everything in the oven. "It's a convection oven, so this won't take long," she explained, and then turned around. "Do you want wine or iced tea? I'm going to have tea. My head is still swimming from Alice's coffee." Tea is fine with me. Can you tell me what that was in the garage?" Yeah, I guess so. Go sit down, I'll bring the tea."When she placed a large glass of iced tea on the table in front of me and sat down, she asked me if I understood what she meant by the phrase, trade last. I shook my head and she chuckled, explaining it was an old expression used when a person asked for information without appearing to be begging for a compliment. Sally would tell Mary something nice someone had said about Mary. In exchange, Mary was.
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