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You seemed to stress that last part -- when you were little."Sandra pounced, but still playfully. "I don't mean to embarrass you. Itwould be OK with me if you wanted to experiment. They did it in thatbaseball movie, Bull Durham. If I were Christina, I might even like myguy waiting on me. I'd feel like a princess. And look like one too,after he finished." Again, she laughed.I laughed again, but didn't respond. Thankfully, Sandra turned back toher duties. She removed Christina's nail polish, massaged her hands andgot ready to paint her nails. I returned to playing with my phone,trying to peek at what she was doing, without being obvious.When it was time for the color coat, Sandra turned to me. "OK, manicureboy, pick a color for your wife." Yes, sweetie. Pick a color. Something you would like, ... if you wereme, of course."I tried to ignore that last comment. "If I were her." What was thatsupposed to mean? Did she want to embarrass me in front of all thesewomen? . Nothing but the sounds of the house and wind. Who, who could be in my house? Did I lock the back door? Did I close the garage door? Memories of days long past flooding my senses. Memories of him. There, his smell, wafting into my room. Is it real? Or just a nightmarish memory? I don’t know, I can’t tell. I think of our first time, over 20 years ago. He had taken it from me. Stolen on a summer’s day, as if it was a pie cooling on a window sill. I was but 19 then. Yet in a fleeting second it was gone, irretrievably lost forever. I had cried, screamed, and kicked, but that only made it better – for him. He was there for only 15 minutes. But when he left he took it with him, as if in a sack carried over his shoulder. I lay in ruins, bruised, on my bed begging for its return. But it could not be. Impossible I knew, for he had taken my virginity. Could he be back again? My senses know it to be true. My body screams, but I know not in my favor. I hate him for what he had done, but my body.
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