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It seems to be a tradition of some sort.”The new commander called the old one to ask what the reason was, and the previous commander said; “I don’t know. The commander before me had guards on the bench, so I just kept it going.”After contacting three previous commanders as well, and still getting the same answer, the new commander finally found a retired General (nearly 100 years old) and asked; “Sir, I am the new commander at the base you were in charge of 60 years ago. I found two men assigned to stand guard on a bench near the mess hall. Can you please tell me why?”After a pause, the General replied; “What? Is the paint still wet?”????????????????Thank tavern_knight for this one~“So when the first pig asked the man for straw to build his house with...”“What do you think the man was thinking?”One of the teacher’s students in the back of the room, called out, “Fuck me, a talking pig.”????????????????A well planned retirementThere is a lot written about this story. Apparently, it is. Still excited and afraid I get on my knees and slowly touch his manhood. His penis is like a rock but the skin can move a little, it’s so fascinating I touch it with both my hands, caressing it and pulling on it. JPs eyes have closed as I play with my new toy. Suddenly JP tells me to stop, but I don’t and then his penis shoots this stuff all over my stomach and hands. I jump back and JP slums to the floor as if he’s dead. Oh no I killed him…, no he’s breathing, what did health class say? Men ejaculate semen to make babies. Am I going to get pregnant? No hold on, he has to do that inside a girl, OK calm down and go wash. Now I see why I was so frightened. After cleaning up I remind JP that it is still my turn to dare him. When he starts the game I finish it or vice verse. Suddenly he looks frightened. I say ‘I dare you to kiss all of my body, every square millimeter’ JP slowly looks at my face clears his throat and says: ‘kiss all as in everywhere, ugh even your ugh’.
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