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When Mom and Dad left, Jay and I curled up in the aftermath for what he calls an ‘after-action report’.“Your dad loved the place.”“Mom did, too. She said she’d love for Dad to have a place to putter around. His little garden at home, his time, just like your dad’s...”“Why don’t we build ‘em a little place right down the hill?” Jay asked me. “Would they move here?”Inwardly I squealed. Outwardly, “I dunno. They’ve been there since I was a baby.”“It’s an old neighborhood. They didn’t change. The neighborhood changed around them.”“I know. I worry. Used to be full of people like your parents and mine. Now...”“Yeah,” he said. “I’m afraid it’s a matter of time before somebody decides that those old people might have something worth stealing.”“Then you think...”“Right over there, right before that big oak. Extend the driveway ... Two bedrooms – your sister can finish high school here.”“You’re serious, baby?”“Not like money’s a problem.”“How do we tell Mom and Dad that we paid for it?”“We. “You came home from work early and found your wife in bed with a strange man”. “That’s correct” says the defendant. “Upon which” continues the prosecutor “you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her”. “That’s correct” says the defendant. “Then my question to you is - why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?” asked the prosecutor. “It seemed easier” replied the defendant “than shooting a different man every day!”My wife came back from work yesterday and yelled at me “All my friends’ husbands have bought an original pink and brown Juicy handbag!” I replied with a wink “Okay love, but tonight you’ll have to provide some pink and brown for me”. I was astonished when she nodded in agreement. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t.
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