I was explaining to Bonnie what the word ‘intimacy’ meant, and it reminded me of how much Estelle and I had lost. We’re going on a dinner-date together on Wednesday. Hopefully doing things like that will help us reconnect.”I sighed and shook my head.“I’m trying to be more assertive but it’s not as easy as I thought it would be. Jen gave me a lesson in that yesterday. She really told me off when I wasn’t doing the right thing. I was kind of shocked but also kind of impressed. And I felt bad because Jen was right and I was wrong. It really reinforced to me that Jen is now an adult. I already knew that but yesterday drove it home.”Benito nodded. “What about Estelle?” he asked.“Estelle has acknowledged that she doesn’t know me as well as she thought she did. She’s promised to try to understand me better. I never imagined that she would like...”I stopped and looked at Benito.“Estelle and I have been looking up on the internet about B.D.S.M.” The acronym felt awkward to say. “I didn’t know. ..at the counter...her badge saying ...Renee...Duty Manager.Her dark hair tied up under her official company cap but her smile was broad and her blue eyes alert...she recognized me...in a really friendly way.“Well hello Mr Richards...long time no see...though I’ve met Jo...as you probably know?”“Yes...Jo said that” I got out...the fantasy plan lost in the reality of the immediate meeting... a school girl crush surely long gone...buried in the mind as embarrassment.“I was just in the area...and getting lunch...didn’t think I’d see you...though thanks for taking Jo under your wing.”She gave me that disbelieving look...as if to say...I know why you are here...even after a couple of years.I was looking at the menu options back above her head...sort of.“Oh come on Mr Richards...I think you hoped to see me...I’d like to think that...tell you what... come on through to the staff area and I’ll get you a coffee...it’s my break time..”And turning from me she organised the three staff in the.
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