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She had no idea if the trip was ever going to come off, but she also knew she'd never done any long-distance bike touring and figured that she might be able to learn something from the guy that would be helpful if the trip actually happened.The guy proved to be easy to find. He was a retiree, but in awesome shape; Susan could only hope to be in half the shape when she was that age. He had a mound of stories to tell about riding his bike around the area. He also told her that he had plans to do a cross-country bike trip later that fall, starting in southern California and winding up in his winter home in Florida. That sounded pretty ambitious to Susan but she had little doubt that he would complete it. When she mentioned the possibility of her own European bike trip the next year, he really lit up. He gave her several important pieces of advice, the biggest one of which was to get in training for it – starting off cold with little or no time on a bike would bring big problems very. I wanted nothing more than to pull you close, kiss you softly, and hold you as we walked through the mall or somewhere else. Knowing how society works, that couldn't happen. I would have been seen as something horrible, nevermind the fact that there was a true deep love in my heartI'm learning more every day, seeing things now, that I missed then. The little things, the smiles at just me, even when you were crying. The way your eyes seemed to light up. The times that you'd want to spend time just the two of us. The random hugs, the occasional "I love you" when we were home alone. I realize now, you never said it in front of anyone else, it was always something between you and I. I missed so many of the little signs you had given me that I wouldn't be rejected. But, sadly, it's too late to change any of that. If I had it to do all over again, I would do so many things differently. I made my bed, now I must lie in it, forever. I have to atone for the pain I caused. It's my burden, and.
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