My body feels great—alive—full of energy. I guess even my mind seems refreshed and I have a feeling of pride. I’m proud that she still wants me, even though I can handle myself now. But she’s not my lover now because I need her help. She’s my lover because she wants to be loved by me. That’s kind of wild.I’m also proud that I can fulfill her desires. Me, a half-crippled freshman and her, a pregnant senior who didn’t really love or care for the guy who planted the baby. And she has desires to be fulfilled. She wants something different every time we’re together. I think she’s memorizing the book I gave her. A lot of the things she suggests, I don’t even remember from when I read it.But in the back of my mind I feel a little guilty, too. First because even though I love her, we’re not in love, like for life or anything. She’s quick to confirm that is the case with her, too, though I see a little wistfulness in her eyes when she says that. Like it could be more if we weren’t in such. I was happy to go but I’d sure miss fucking some of the fathers of the k**s I babysat for. Some of them had big cocks and liked to fuck me good in their cars before they took me home. Some of them just liked me to suck them. They said I sucked cock good. I’d miss that but maybe taking care of Mr. Johnson would be fun, too.The next weekend mamma put me on a bus. “You be a good girl and listen to everything Mr. Johnson tells you to do. Help him out.” When I got to the isolated house I learned there was only one bedroom in the house and he told me we’d share it. That was ok with me I guess. He told me how lonely he’d been when his wife diedt but mama helped all she could, and now I could help him to. “What kind of help do you need Mr. Johnson?”“I get this terrible swelling and just need someone to help make it go away.”“I’ll do whatever you want to help. Just tell me what you need.”“Let’s get settled then, since I’m getting that swelling now just looking at you.” He led me.
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