I’m still not used to how beautiful she is, and right now she’s amazing to look at. Her round, greenish brown eyes are like liquid pools in a Louisiana cypress swamp, deep and mysterious, easy to get lost in. She leans over and kisses me, and the touch of our lips corresponds to the impact of Taylor’s cock as it rams home, and of his balls bouncing on my perineum. My orgasm is sudden and surprising, and I cry out as much in amazement as in pleasure. I love the unpredictability of my orgasms when I’m wound up and ready. But this is just a first. Without Hera here, stroking, kissing, whispering, watching, and smiling at me this sex would be almost mundane. I think of Megan, and of her new enthusiasm for sex with more than one person at a time. Group polyamory does get logistically and emotionally complex, but there’s nothing like it for raw sexual power! I think we’re all addicted by now.I manage a couple more increasingly intense orgasms over the next few minutes and Taylor. Everybody else was almost giggling out loud, butnobody said anything while he chatted me up. When the laughter burstout, of course I joined in, but I could see the look on his face -pained disappointment.The weird thing was, that was how I felt too, in that moment. We couldhave been a couple, that guy and me, If I had been real. But I wasn'tthen. I am now.That was when I first had an inkling that I might not really be the manI thought I was.No. That is not right. I have never been that man.Now, looking back, it was like for the first twenty years of my life Iwas trapped in a gorilla suit. I thought that I was a gorilla. I beatmy chest and grunted, and dragged my knuckles along the ground, becausethat is what gorillas do. I never looked for the domes on the neck orthe zip in the back to take that damn suit off, because I was a gorilla.I thought I was. Everybody around me thought I was.That night was all it took. Once that I had found that I could take thesuit off, I never.
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