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Sure! Wait, we aren't going to work?”“No, I've talked with some of the staff and since you're doing so well I figured we could take some time off. We can talk about how you're progressing while we sit and watch the boys play. The game starts a little after seven so we have the afternoon to explore Atlanta. How does that sound?”“You are the best Lauren! I'd love that.” Renee hugged her mentor tightly, her melancholy mood vanished with the news.“So, go get changed. We'll do some shopping then eat dinner downtown, nothing too fancy so wear comfortable shoes.”Renee beamed, “Not to worry, I have some in my bag upstairs.”She kissed Lauren's cheek before heading off to get ready. Lauren smiled then made her way upstairs to change. She'd thought about altering Renee's routine at work and this would be a good time to discuss how things were going and if her intern was getting what she needed from the experience.They slipped into Lauren's car, top down and headed to town. Their conversation. I go to bed, feeling very peaceful, and then something happens to trigger thoughts of death in my mind and if I’m lucky, I can get rid of them. Other nights, they stay there at the front of my mind, so that no matter what I think about or if I get out of bed to do something else, they’re still there. Even trying to write doesn’t help because I’m too tired to focus. Sleeping pills don’t help, because I need at least ten hours to burn them out of my system. Even with a shit-ton of caffeine in the morning, I’m still groggy until about ten hours. Since I need that much time and I have to get up at 6:15 to be to work on time, that would mean taking them at no later than 8:15, which would seriously cut into the very, very small amount of time I get to spend with my wife. And believe me, that ain’t happening. Hopefully by getting this all out on ‘paper,’ it’ll help the process. I can’t imagine it can hurt. Just know that everything in this ‘story’ is rhetorical and honestly, I don’t want to.
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