If only I’d been here four years ago.”“You’d have been ten, and would have thought they were just talking to each other.” said another girl, poking me. “And if you didn’t, well, you’d have had no chance with them, would you?”“Hahahah I suppose not.” We walked on to break – hot chocolate and croissants. I was getting to like private schools. My last school had nothing for break, only a tuckshop if you had money.Three girls were talking about something and saw me “Pas devant l’enfant.” one said. I smiled and replied “Va te faire foutre” and walked on. They had no idea what I’d said, but Susan Langham did. She had walked up to say hello.“A bit rude. Don’t let the teachers hear you.A word of advice. Bide your time. Find out who knows what. Then you won’t tell Marie over there – who is half French, and very fluent – to fuck off in French. Now, tell her in German and she’d have no idea.”“Nein sprechensie Deutsch.” I replied.“I do, and that was nearly right.”After break I had Chemistry,. So here it is, Saturday afternoon, the wife's in the bedroom reading the little guy a story. I have a bit of religion on my brain. I'm praying like a crazy man let's all nap now, please! Oh, but I fully expect to break with the faith yet again within the hour. I'm a pragmatic guy. If miracles don't happen, forget it!If nothing else, I say to myself, here's that chance for the shower you've been pining for since yesterday morning. I know, I know, it's a scary sort of life. I'm not thinking of a quick wash with soap and cloth, I'm dreaming of water so scalding it takes that dirty layer of outer skin right off. Strips me clean like a solvent. Turn my hair into an exotic flower. Scrape that scratchy rash of beard from my cheeks.Under the pounding water I am luxuriating. And what is this? I wonder. Sheer sensual pleasure? What a rarity in my life. And what other pleasures of the flesh might be forthcoming?Please take a nap, please take a nap, please take a nap. I've got that mantra thing.
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