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“You know, finding the right model is a lifelong pursuit,” I started again, trying to ease her by joking a little. “Just like it is with a real partner.” She finally laughed a little and replied: “Ain’t that the truth,” then sighed. “So ... you think this one is good for ... starters?” She asked. I shrugged. “It really depends on what you’re into,” I said. Knowing how hard it is for many women to talk about their sexual preferences I tried to give her some hints and added: “If you prefer anal, you may want to start with something smaller, when it comes to vaginal, I found that having a vibrator that’s penis shaped and a little rough gives me the best stimulation, and if you’re just looking for a quick clitoral satisfaction, just pick one with strong vibrations, like this one.”She nodded, but still seemed a little lost. “You know,” she said, “I ... I don’t even know. Isn’t that pathetic?” She smiled sadly. “I haven’t been with anyone for months since my husband ... well, even before. That suffocating truth of lucky sperm finding lucky egg to create life. Slide out naked and screamin’ and richer than the other 99’. Festering like some Civil War era gangrene. Loved having stacks of Benjamin’s. Hated what having so much of it meant for others. Paradoxes. Happiness. Wealth. Poverty. Struggle. Depression. Sanity. Frustrations of reality. The reason for being and why we are all the way we are, why we do what we do to each other… that deep existential shit of Plato and Socrates and Nietzsche in her blackest of moods. Zion 1 for the modern age. Or Lupe. Hopsin. Common. Pick your lyrical poison. Upside shadows in caves and alleys of flames and lies. Shit so far beyond me the head spins, brain screams for relief.Maybe I’m biased, but I think she could have torched them all in debate. Spun her logic with that detached spatial flight of mind and that sultry haze of voice. Looking fine in white cloth toga.-I still remember how she moved, svelte form liquefying into whatever.
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