As she applied pressure to my arm, I shouted out with pain. "Judy, cutit out. That hurts." You know what you're supposed to say, Pat" Come on. You're hurting me." I know it must hurt a dainty little thing like you so just say it."Never. Stop being a bitch and let me go." Now that's not a nice thing for a dainty little person to say. I mayhave to wash out your mouth later too. Now I'm losing my patience withyou so just tell me you're a feminine little girl and you want to be myfemale servant all summer. Come on, I know you can it, sweetie."I was now in so much pain that I couldn't resist much longer. I criedout. "I'm a feminine little girl and I want to be your female servantall summer." And what do you want to wear, Patti?"The pain was unbearable. "I'll wear anything you want," I said in greatdiscomfort."I want my little girl to wear pretty dresses. Would you wear prettydresses for me, Patti?" Yes, I will wear a dress. I'll wear whatever you want me to." And some dainty. I checked into the Bellagio into a luxury suite and began the rounds of the casinos. While parlaying Do Over into more cash I just couldn't get the US Open out of my mind. This year it was being held at Pebble Beach. It appealed to the cheap side of me to use the US Open as a method to get to play there for free. NO golf course is worth what is charged for a round at Pebble, unless they have hookers giving complementary blow jobs on the front and back nines and a free open bar. I know Pebble is pretty upscale but I have never heard of anyone claiming to have received THAT level of service there.Monday morning at my first Vegas golf course I got all the information I could about how to establish a handicap so that I could apply. I figured that even if I played any course from the big boy's tees I could still Do Over my way to scratch golf. It appeared that consistent par or under scoring in the qualifiers could get you to the Open. Thus began the great crusade to cheat Pebble Beach.
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